Finally, I'm truly alive
by tasty cheez
Summary: I really hate this title. Oh well. About a boy who leaves his hometown, only to find out his neighbor Squee was asleep in the back of his car. He runs into some familiar faces straight out of Squee's past. Please read and review. complete.
1. departure

Nothingness. An empty buzzing, a blurred picture, stagnant air. 'I feel warm... I think I'm warm. Why am I shivering? I guess nothingness is cold. What am I doing here? Why don't I just leave? **You don't leave because you need the credit.** I don't need this credit. I don't need a diploma. I need to get out of here. **I don't think skipping is the answer**. Your right, skipping isn't the answer.'

The teacher at the front of the room was telling the class about he theory of evolution. He was actually making it interesting. He had some weird metaphor going or something. I don't really remember. After I had resolved my internal conflict I rose from my chair. Luck would have it (It was all luck I didn't even think about the teacher.) luck would have it that the teacher turned his back at that exact moment to write something on the board. I simply walked to the door opened it and left. I'm sure that a couple of students marveled at my 'testicular fortitude.' Not many people were gutsy enough to skip a class that the teacher had seen them in already.

'**What are you doing? I thought skipping wasn't the answer.'** Are the voices in your head supposed to be this nonchalant? 'I'm not skipping class. I'm leaving town. **Where are you going?** East. **Why east?** Because we live on the west coast. Duh. Your usually smarter than that. **What is out there that your going to see?** Life. **Do you like answer questions with one word?** Do you like asking questions?' No response. Thank God. No not God he's just some made up thing used to control peasants so they wouldn't revolt. Thank luck. I guess that's good enough.

I walked out of the school building through one of the side entrances. Straight across the parking lot to my car. I reached for the door of my old station wagon when a thought crossed my mind. 'I only have three months left this year. three months off, and nine months of senior year. I'm seventeen and I'm throwing my life away on a whim. No I'm not throwing any thing away. I'm taking a stupid, preplanned, routine, waste of an existence, and replacing it with... what was I replacing it with? Adventure... no. Change. **Change for the sake of change is chaos.** The waters of life should always be flowing. Mine have stopped. The water is stagnant. The mosquitoes are finding it a nice place to lay their eggs. The townsfolk are lobbing old tires into it. It is no longer safe. It is ripe with disease. I am simply using chaos to stir the water. Ever see a bomb go off in water? The jagged peaks of white foam burst skyward. The light dances in the water creating a rainbow of colors. A halo surrounds the main column of water guarding it from whatever means it harm. Their can be beauty in chaos. **I ain't touchin' that. If you don't see how crazy that sounds then there is no hope of me making you see it. **Did the voice in my head just call me crazy? **Just because you hear voices doesn't mean your crazy.** I call bullshit. **It usually means your crazy, but I am an exception. I don't stem from your subconscious. I am a separate entity apart from you. **We'll talk about this later.'

I entered my vehicle and went to the bank. I walked through the front door and up to the front desk. The place was huge. Marble every where. The desk was made of mahogany or some other wood. I couldn't really tell but it looked fancy. The teller asked me my name blah, blah, blah, bureaucratic bullshit. As it turns out You can't drain a $20,000 collage fund without parental consent.** So your basically screwed.** A**re you gonna go back to school now since you can't run away? **No. and don't call it running away that sounds like something a little kid does. I'm leaving. **Where are you going to go now then?** I'm going to go pawn my stereo, T.V., and things like that.** At least your persistent.**'

So I went home filled my dads work van with all my useless items, and headed for the pawnshop. The owner of the store walked out to see what I wanted to sell him. He looked about forty or so. He was a little overweight, but not too bad. He wore a purple shirt that said 'I'll buy your used crap and sell it for profit.' He looked at the condition of every thing and told me he'd give me $400 for it. I helped unload the stuff and he paid me. 'Hey, stupid little voice! who's screwed now! ** So your really going through with this huh?** Yep. **Well at least this will be interesting.** Aren't you supposed to have some guidancey stuff to say to me.** I'm not that little voice in the back of your head that tells you when you do something wrong. I'm the little voice in the front of your head that makes little comments on the things you do. **Than what good are you? **None at all.'**

The drive home was kind of weired. It was finally sinking in that I was leaving. What a great feeling.

I arrived home, and threw my guitar and bass into the mid-section seat. They were the only things that I was passionate about. I already had bedding stored back in the rear section of the wagon so I could take naps during school. My ride was set up. 'This is going to be my new home now.** Your really going through with this huh? **Yes. Why do you keep doubting me?** Oh, I don't know maybe because it's stupid, irrational, and some other stuff I don't feel like listing off right now. **I see your point.'

I decided that it would be bad if I didn't write a goodbye to my parents and everyone. So I walked into the kitchen of my house and this is what I wrote.

"I only feel like writing one letter. one final goodbye. here it goes. im going on a trip I dont know where im going but the destination isn't important. I have chosen to leave this world behind in search of a new life somewhere else. tell steven that hes a douche for me. I hope ill never get another chance to say it to his face. dont cry over my leaving im going some where better."

I read the words that I had written and added a post script "P.S. I realise this sounds like a suicide letter but it's not I actually am leaving to go somewhere. I also realise the grammar and spelling is horrible but I wrote it in like 5 secs. and dont feel like fixing it."

After I added that little tidbit I got in my car and left town. 'Wow' I thought 'I've accomplished a lot by ten Am.'

* * *

Two hours later I heard a noise come from the far backseat. I turned around and noticed the blankets were moving. "What the fuck!" I yelled. Can you blame me, something was moving in the back of my car. My friend Todd poked his head out from under the blankets. "Whats up?" I don't think he had noticed we were moving yet. "Uhh... Nothin'. Why are you in my car? '**HAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA. What are the odds? Seriously.' **"Me and Pepito had a couple of friends over last night, things got out of hand, long story short I crashed in your car. Oh, and I need to be to work by one so if you could drop me back off at my house I'd appreciate it." **'So much fail! **Your not helping.** Sorry.'** "Umm... Squee. Yeah we're approaching the state line right about now."

I guess this is as good a time as any to tell you about my friend Todd a.k.a Squee. He's about twenty-seven, lived next door to me, I hang out over there from time to time. (Wow I'm going to have to put that in the past-tense from now on.) He's a pretty cool dude.

"Why are you way out here?" Well that's a valid question.

"I decided to go on a little vacation."

"What kind of vacation?" He sounded kind of worried, and looked at me like I was crazy or something. I might be but, he doesn't know about the voice in my head.

"Well, I'm leaving town for an unspecified amount of time, I'm going to an unspecified location, and I only have $400... so... it's an irresponsible road trip."

"Why are you leaving? Emotional issues?" He added the second part with real uneasiness.

"I just feel that life in our home town is boring and pointless. So I left."

"Mind if I come too?"

"Really? I figured you would want to go home. You know back to your job, your house, your friends, and what not."

"It should be fun. Plus, I just cashed my paycheck so I have like 500 bucks. I just need to call Pepito next time I get the chance. I wish I had my cell on me."

"Okay. It's settled then your on board."

* * *

Meanwhile back at Squee and Pepito's house.

"Amigo? No not in here. Hello any one here! He must of gone to work already."

* * *

A/N I hope you liked it. I'll try to update this every week, but I don't know if I'll be able to. I want to make sure this doesn't get rushed at all. Please please please review. I worked super hard on this, and anything I did bad on, no matter how trivial, I want to know about. I would also greatly appreciate to know any thing I did well on. reviews such as "It was mediocre I'll read the next chapter if I'm bored." will be gladly accepted. It's just good to know how my story is and good to know that people are reading it. 


	2. Arizona

We'd been in the car for like, three days. I was about to lose my freaking mind. We were making our way through Arizona. It's just miles of a molten hot nothing, because of course we got there as soon as a heatwave hit. Arizona is not a fun place during a heatwave.

Around seven O' clock on the third day we arrive at this little city of about 20,000 people. Me and Squee were both starving so the first restaurant we found we stopped at. It was called 'Diner' Thats what the sign said, nothing else, just Diner. When I saw the sign I expected it to be a little motor home with a kitchen area kind of thing, but it wasn't. It was actually a nice restaurant. It looked like it was the kind of place that had good food and good service, but it was still cheap enough that most people could afford it. Three-and-a-half stars.

When we pulled up there was a man pacing in the parking lot. He was dressed in fairly nice attire, and looked very upset. He looked at us when we got out of the car. I think he noticed the two guitars in the back seat because he asked in a very desperate town of voice. "You two are musicians?"

Me and Squee looked at each other for a second then we both asked "Why" at the exact same time time.

"Well I booked a band to play for me, and they're supposed to play for me in ten minutes, and they're not here, and, and, and can you two play for me?" The man was really distraught.

"Uhh... well actually-" Squee was cut short by an elbow to the ribs.

"How much money are we talking about here?" I know a good opportunity when I see it. **'You know Squee can't play. **I thought you weren't my conscience. **I'm not I just don't want to watch you get booed off stage. **Really? **No. That actually would be kind of funny. Carry on.'**

I missed how much the man had said he would pay us but luckily Squee repeated it. "A hundred bucks for a ten minute set?!"

"Well do it." I said before Squee could say otherwise. "All we have are two practice amps. You have some in there right?"

"Of course. Oh thank you so much."

In the dressing room I hastily taught Squee a baseline. "Okay man hold this fret right hear. Okay, now hit it eight times then hit this note eight times. Can you hold that beat? Good lets go, and never stop strumming." You know, when you enter a building through the back door, it's really hard to tell how big it is. This place was big.

Out on stage we plugged in. Squee was just staring blankly at the wall behind the crowd. I think he had stage fright. That's understandable. I basically handed him a bass and said "your doin' it." I told the crowd to stomp their feet and clap their hands to try and make up for the lack of drums. **'Man this is sketchy. ** I'm aware of that dude.** I mean really sketchy. Your bassist has probably never touched a guitar, and you just made up that "drum line" just now. **Is that all? **No, but I'll let you get back to the show.** Thanks.' The crowd had gotten the beat down so I told Squee to start the bass line. Time to pull some lyrics out of my ass.

I woke up one morning and, I had a frown.

I knew that I had to, get out of town.

(mini guitar solo completely on the fly)

Before I left town I, had one more stop.

I headed to my, local pawn shop

(mini solo)

Now I had money, I loaded my car.

I just left I, drove real far

(mini solo)

It's been three days now, what do I do.

How did I end up, playing for you.

(A long solo I had written before I left.)

Holy shit the crowd loved it. That means I need another song and fast. My mind reeled as I thought of songs that we only needed one instrument for. Squee struggled keeping that base line going. "Squee can you sing 'What it's like"

"Yeah... well I don't know if I can in front of all these people, but I'll try."

"Thats the spirit."

Squee took the microphone as I started that oh so distinct opening riff. He started singing and the crowd just melted. I had no idea he could sing like that. When the song was over a couple people in the crowd were actually crying. Yeah his voice is that soft. Any way after our two song set was over we left backstage, got paid, and sat down at a table to eat.

During the whole meal we just looked at each other. No words were necessary. We both knew what the other was thinking. "I can't believe we just pulled that off."

Right before we finished our dinner two women walked up to our table. The older woman seemed to be around forty. She was pale and wore her red hair down around her shoulders. She wore a puffy jacket and boots. She stood back as the younger woman, presumably her daughter, walked right next to the table. She had jet black straight hair, she was as pale, if not paler, than her mother, and she was wearing a black and dark gray striped zip hoodie with a black t-shirt on underneath.

"You guys were amazing tonight." The younger woman, probably seventeen years old, said with a touch of awe in her voice.

"Umm... thanks?" I really wasn't used to this kind of praise. I don't think Squee was either by the looks of him. **'She's pretty hot. **Will you please stop talking... uh... whats your name? **You may call me Steevy, and yes I'll stop talking.'**

"How long have you guys been playing together?"

"Why you want to be our groupie? I don't know... I usually ask for some credentials first. I'd need to at least know your name." I fully expected to get bitch-slapped for that, but the palm never came. Actually the older woman thought it was funny. Squee didn't, neither did the girl in front of me.

"I do NOT want to be your groupie." Her voice sent chills down my spine. I think I died a little on the inside. "And by name is Abigale, but everyone just calls me Abbs." In the sweetest tone in the world. It was scary how fast her voice could change.

"Uhh... hello Abbs. I'm Brian and this here is Squee." Abbs' mom looked a little more interested in the conversation at the mention of the name 'Squee.'

"Squee? Where do I know that name from?" The older woman looked deep in thought. "I remember now! Do you know a Johnny C?"

By the look on Squee's face I'd say it was his turn to die on the inside. "Yeah he actually gave me the name Squee... How do you know him?" Squee slowly rose from his seat and Abbs slowly stole it.

"My names Devi. He might have told you about me years ago. From what I hear you two used to talk a lot. I was the one who got away." Abbs leaned over and asked me what was going on at the same time as 'Steevy.' With the sound coming from inside and outside my head, it sounded like the universe was asking me a great cosmic question, and I had no idea who we were even talking about.

"Your _that_ one!?" I think Squee almost pooed a little.

"Yes I'm _that_ one." She cracked a bit of a smile. "He's way different now compared to the Johnny you knew."

"Really, wow, I haven't seen him since I was... probably around ten somewhere. So hows he doing?"

"Why don't you ask him yourself?" Squee had his back to me so I couldn't really be sure but it's safe to assume that his eyes got really big.

"He's here!?"

"No he hates this place, but you should come and see him. He'd love to see you after all these years."

"I'm so confused right now." I said to Abbs in a whisper, leaning in closer so she could hear without taking my eyes off Squee.

"I know me too." She had also leaned closer, still engrossed in the conversation. We both turned to look at each other at the same time, and realized that our faces were way closer to each other than they should be. I tried to hide a blush. I don't think it worked too well, but thats okay, she didn't hide hers very well either.

I once again didn't hear what was going on in the conversation. I guess I just have a really short attention span. I mean I just keep not paying attention to all the important stuff while some trivial thing on the side catches my attention. I'm not saying that Abbs or Steevy are trivial, just... you know. What was I talking about?

As I snapped out of my daydream I realized that everyone was staring at me. "So Brian you wanna?" I had no idea what Squee just asked me. "Sure."

"So Brian was it? You wanna follow me there?"

"Sure."

"Abigale you ride with Brain. Me and Squee need a little time to catch up. If thats okay with you Brian."

"Sure." 'I really need to figure out what is going on. **Yeah your pretty lost aren't you. **Not helping. **It's not my job to help.** Then what is your job? **Sit back and watch your life. It's actually pretty entertaining. Imagine reality T.V. where you can make fun of the people to their face.' **

We all got into our cars. From what I could tell from Abbs' small talk we were headed to her house, apparently her dad was this Johnny C. dude, and she likes my song. Thats basically every thing important that you need to know about. Our ride to her house was kind of awkward. Good thing it was short.

* * *

A/N This story is really fun to write. I hope you all enjoy reading it. Please review, I worked really hard on this.


	3. wha' happened?

We parked our cars out side of an average house. No, it was more than average. It was spectacularly average. The house stuck out because it fit in so well. It's kinda hard to describe this, but the whole house seemed sarcastic. It was -and I know I use this word to much, but sue me for not owning a thesaurus- weird.

All four of us walked into the "amazingly average" house. The inside of the house was completely different from the outside. It looked much more like what you'd expect from Devi and Abbs than the outside did. It was normal enough, but something just gave it that Gothic vibe- not too Gothic. Not that paper white face black everything else, I'm so different than every one but look exactly like my friends, whiny, Gothic. Just a kind of solitary, macabre, thing. Nothing too bad.

Devi went to go find Johnny while me and Squee stayed in the living room with Abbs.

"So. Whats your guys' story? Are you from around here?"

"No." Squee answered. "We are from western California."

"What are you doing in Arizona?" She had a curious look on her face, it was innocent but something about her eyes kind of creped me out.

"Well... uhh... Brain, why don't you tell her why we're in Arizona."

"It's very simple really. Squee's room mate threw a party and he went to sleep in the back of my car because he had to work in the morning." She gave Squee a re-evaluating look. I guess that makes sense. He doesn't really fit the description of someone who falls asleep in the back of someone else's car during a party. "I finally decided that I needed to get away from everything so I left town, and let me tell you something. Nothing will freak you out more than your neighbor waking up in the back of your car when your about to leave the state."

"You just bailed?"

"Yeah."

"Just like that?"

"Is it really so hard to believe?" Before she could answer Devi walked back into the room with a grumbling Johnny behind her.

"Who are these people." I know it's usually an aggressive phrase, but he said it cheerfully. Weird.

"They were playing at the Diner tonight. This is Brian and this," She grabbed Squee by the shoulders. "Is Squee."

"Hey Nny." Squee spoke in a very small voice.

"Is that really you! Good god last time I saw you you were ten! Oh, don't worry I've changed a lot since the last time we met. In fact maybe we should talk about this somewhere else."

Devi whispered into Squee's ear "Abigale doesn't know."

"Yeah. We three should go out. Do you drink." Squee remembered how hard it was for him growing up knowing Nny. He seemed to be better, but couldn't imagine what it would be like for Abbs if she found out about her fathers past.

"I don't drink too often, but sure I'll have a couple beers with you."

"You mind if I come. I'd hate to miss this."

So they left me and Abbs home together. Nothing is going to happen you perverts. You sicken me, getting your kicks from reading about two kids under the legal age of consent doing _things_. MICHEAL JACKSON!! Sorry. Random little tangents happen every so often. Just forget this whole paragraph exists. Minus the first line, its relevant.

As I was saying. Me and Abbs where alone at her house.** 'I was there too! **No, you don't count as a separate entity, you are a part of me.** I am not.** You are a voice in _my_ head. You stem from _my_ subconscious. You are a part of _me_. **You seem to be confusing me with Ted. I am not imprisoned to your mind I simply reside here because your fun to mess with. **Sob. Who is Ted.** He's the voice in your head. Didn't I just tell you that?'**

"Who are you talking to?"

"I didn't say anything." Good god, I hope I didn't say anything.

"Well duh, I know that, but I also know the look of someone who's having an internal discussion." What the hell am I supposed to say to that?

"... uhh... I was talking to Steevy."

"Steevy huh, boy or girl?"

"Boy."

"And what does he represent?"

"What do you mean?"

"Libido, logic, homicidal/suicidal tendencies, morals, guidance, what?

"He's just kind of there. He says he doesn't have any motives. He just resides in my head because I'm fun to mess with. That's what he told me." How is it that this girl just got me to confide in her like that?

"Interesting."

"Interesting? Thats all you can say? You asked me questions like you were some kind of shrink then when I answer you just say 'Interesting.'"

"Yup'." This is the point were everything goes black. I felt my brain twitch and heard someone laugh. I have no idea what happened.

I awoke on the couch the next morning with the sun shining brightly on my eyes. I was really confused about where I was. Naturally, the first thing I did was itch my crotch and roll over. I was so not ready to wake up, but before I could get back to sleep and not have to worry about my strange surroundings, I heard something. I'm not sure what it was but something made me sit up and look. From the couch I was able to see into Abbs bedroom. Her and Squee were playing Guitar Hero II. I tried to find out who was winning, but couldn't see from the couch. All I could see from the couch were their backs and glimpses of the televi- man Abbs has a nice ass.

I got off of the couch, and my body made it very apparent that sleeping there was not a good idea. My back was killing me, my legs were asleep, and it felt like I had been punched in the face. I don't know what could have possibly made me feel like I had been punched in the face, but I was sleeping at the time so I'll probably never know. I walked over to Abbs and Squee, very groggily, and sat down on a chair.

"Yo." I said while rubbing my face.

"Well good afternoon sleeping beauty." I can never tell if Abbs is being sarcastic or not.

"Afternoon? Wha' time is it?"

"It's about noon." Squee this time.

"What happened last night? Your eye kinda twitched and you passed out." The way she looked at me, it was like she was a confused puppy.

"N'idea." I said shaking my head in the negative.

"Fair enough." Her and Squee started another round of Guitar Hero, and after I had woken up a little more I played some as well.

At around 2:00 me and Squee Told Abbs to thank her parents for letting us stay, it was good meeting them/seeing them again, our apologies for not saying goodbye in person, blah blah blah. She wrote it all down, we said our goodbyes to her and left. (Johnny and Devi were at some art thingy, Thats why they weren't home.)

About three hours later I realized something. I miss her. I have only been around her for a grand total of four waking hours, but still I miss her. Why do I miss her so much? She was kind of annoying, she made me confused, but she was... I don't know. She wasn't smart, but she wasn't stupid either. She was kind of funny. She was hot, but other than that she was completely average. No, there's something I'm missing. She was... strange. She was strange, but in the greatest way. I couldn't tell what she was thinking. She wasn't shallow and two dimensional like most people I've met. She was herself. Se wasn't a clone. I miss her, because unlike most things in the world, she was real.

* * *

A/N Woot another chapter in the books. I Think I like this story enough to see it to the end. I still don't know where the end is, or how long it will take to get there, but it's going to be entertaining... I hope. I would like to thank NarutoPhantom and Goldenstargirl for reviewing, it helps a lot.


	4. The mushroom

It had been six hours since we left that little town in Arizona. Squee and I hadn't really spoken much, I was too busy thinking about Abbs. I couldn't shake the feeling that leaving her back there was the biggest mistake of my life. Something about her, she was just so easy to talk to, and those eyes, I couldn't forget her eyes. I didn't notice it before, but now that I look back, there was something about those eyes. They scared me, they made me feel like if she wanted to, she could kill me, but there was also something else in them, innocence, a child-like curiosity, a playful feeling. They say the eyes are windows to the soul, the only problem was, I didn't know what I had seen, but I wanted to get a better look. No matter what.

"Lets stop here. We both really need to get out of this car." It was eight and Squee was right, my legs ached from being long out of use.

"Yeah thats probably for the best. We should think about camping out here for the night, it's still a while 'till the next town."

We pulled into the rest stop. It was on the side of a lake in the woods. There was an obviously underused boat ramp, and a really dingy looking bathroom.

We stepped out of the car. Well Squee stepped out of the car, I fell out, both my legs were asleep. After about five minutes of walking around, stretching, and other such things, we wandered over to the bathroom. Even though from the outside the building looked like it was fit to hold at least four people, from the inside it looked like the last four people that had used it had been blown up. We opened the door and the smell was horrible beyond words. Just thinking back to it makes me queasy. We both retreated to a safe distance to catch our breath.

"Rock, paper, scissors to see who has to run in and grab the toilet paper?" This was a basic arrangement between us. Some flipped coins, some drew straws, we played rock paper scissors.

"1, 2, 3, SHOOT!" We chanted in unison, both producing a rock.

"1, 2, 3, SHOOT!" Scissors.

"1, 2, 3, SHOOT!" I threw a scissors again expecting him to throw paper, alas he threw rock.

"You're up buddy."

"Squee, if you shut the door, or try anything else, I will break your knees with a tire iron and leave you out here." I know it sounds harsh, but you weren't there, you don't know the smell.

"Fair enough."

I sprinted into the bathroom trying to get in and out as fast as possible. I tried not to look at anything, but my curiosity took over, I had to look. The corners of the room were covered in a blue furry something. Now I'm not talking about 'I left the toast out too long blue' I mean sky blue. About a foot above the floor the color changed towards a greenish color. It was bad, really bad. I couldn't make it on my first trip, so I headed back out side for a new breath of air.

"Did you get the toilet paper?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

with a new breath I dashed into the outhouse of doom. I opened the first stall but found it impossible to enter, same with the second, but in the third stall there was room enough that I could leap over a giant mushroom that seemed to feed off of the green stuff. I snatched two rolls of paper and made a hurried exit. As I closed the door I thought I heard the mushroom bark at me, but that my have been my imagination.

I handed one roll to Squee.

"What happened in there?"

"That's a story for another day." He didn't ask any more questions.

We both made our way into the woods a little bit away from each other. It was dookie time, privacy is a necessity. I found a log suitable for my needs and sat down. My back was pointed slightly to the car but directly at Squee. I dropped trow and waited for things to happen. A twig snaped behind me. I turned around quickly, taking as threatening a pose as was possible. I didn't look very threatening. When I turned I didn't see any one ( or any thing, to be totally honest I half expected the mushroom to be there.) With no one behind me I continued on with my business.

A little while later I wiped and pulled my pants up. Me and Squee emerged from the woods at the same time. We turned to head to the car when we both heard footsteps coming from behind us. We turned around just in time to get clotheslined by a gray something that flew threw the air.

"Hello guys! Did you miss me!?" Excitement was apparent on her face.

"Abbs?" she had landed on me, Squee was laying a few feet off to the side.

She had me pinned down. She was straddling my lap and held my wrists above my head.

"Well did you miss me?" She was like a child asking her grand father if he had a present for her.

"How did you get here?"

"Did you miss me." This time when she asked the question she didn't say it jokingly, she said it completely serious. I think she really needed to know that she was missed. I looked her straight in the eye and said, "More than either of us can imagine."

"How did you get here!?" Squee had asked this time.

"I hid in the back of your car." She stated as if it were obvious.

"How did you get in the car? We said bye to you, walked out of you house, and left."

"When I was writing your note to my parents I was actually writing my note to my parents. Then when you left, I ran out my back door and around my house, I got to your car before you did and got hidden just as you opened the front door of my house." She seemed really proud of what she had done.

"That's pretty impressive." I stated in admiration.

"Thank you." I've never seen a smile so cute. It made my heart melt. She leaned down and gave me a kiss on the forehead. "Your sweet." I instantly turned a bright red. It was embarrassing, but things could have been worse. A girl I can't stop thinking about was straddling me with my arms held over my head and she kissed my forehead. Something WAY more embarrassing could have happened.

"Umm... can you get off me now?"

"I don't know... Your so adorable when you blush, and it's fun watching you squirm."

"Please."

"Ohh... but your so comfy." She lowered herself a little lower onto me. I just looked at her with begging eyes. "Oh, alright. But, you got to let me back on top of you some other time." I honestly couldn't tell if she was serious or not. I decided not to answer.

She got off of me and we all returned to the wagon. All we had for dinner was some water and a bag of bagels. We ate in silence. Every so often me and Abbs would glance up at each other and smile.

'Why do I like her so much? **I like her. **What's that supposed to mean? **She makes your life interesting. ** She definitely has done that. **It seems to me like you trying to think of reasons to not like her. **Maybe I am, but why would I do that? ** Your over analyzing things. Just let things happen. **Maybe. Thanks Steevy.'

We went to sleep that night under the stars. We spread a blanket out in the parking lot and just stared at the stars in silence until one by one we drifted into slumber.

I awoke the next morning to find her asleep. She was using my shoulder as a pillow. I looked at her sleeping face and I knew why I had missed her so much.

A/N Yay I brought her back. I had a lot of fun writing this chapter. Please review, or the mushroom will eat your soul. I'm not 100 sure, but your soul's got to be important for something. Right?


	5. I'm not on drugs

"What is that?" I thought to myself. There was something hopping towards me. It looked familiar ,but I couldn't put my finger on what it was. Wait... Oh God! It was the mushroom. That mushroom from the bathroom was coming after me. I wanted to run, but I was frozen in place, I couldn't move. As the mushroom neared I noticed a small pink bunny was riding it. The bunny had two sticks of dynamite strapped to it's chest. In a very squeaky voice it shouted "Try to resurrect me this time! Onward to blessed oblivion!!" The mushroom jumped directly in front of my face, I screamed, the little bunny smiled, and we all blew up.

I awoke the next day with a start. That dream was really weird. And what was with the suicidal bunny? I was feeling slightly paranoid knowing that the mushroom was in the bathroom, so I grabbed a stick and walked into the bathroom to rid this planet of the creepy mushroom. The mushroom was gone. I was now really really really really really really freaked out. I didn't let it show though. I walked out of the bathroom like nothing happened. I simply Shrugged it off as a product of my deranged imagination.

Okay that's a lie. I ran out of that place screaming like a little girl. I screamed like a little girl that had run into a cartoon brown bear. A cartoon bear in a horrible demented place, where childlike wonder and innocence go to die. Were everyone does what they want because everyone hides in a disguise like a comic-book hero's nemesis. That bear would do unspeakable things to the little girl, things that I won't go into any detail about. The little girl knew what was going to happen, and knew there was nothing to stop it, but scream and pray. I screamed like a little girl stuck in a /B/ad place. (To anyone who doesn't get this joke. Your better off not knowing about /B/. If your curiosity is too overwhelming I'll toss you a link.)

Anyway... I ran out of the bathroom screaming. I ran into Squee and Abbs. They held on to me and asked me what the yelling was about.

"I was just standing there and the mushroom came and there was a little bunny and he had dynamite and they bounced up and it was all like BOWM (Explosive hand gesture) but it was a dream but I was freaked out any way so I (breath) went to the bathroom with this stick to kill the evil mushroom but it was gone and it was there yesterday and it barked at me and I thought I was imagining things but it's ALIVE!! Alive don't you see?! It's coming for me!!" Nothing will bring you crashing down into a state of normality like to hands tag-teaming to bitch slap the entire left side of your face. From the chin to the top of my head. "I needed that. Thank you. I must have just imagined the mushroom."

"Are you sure you didn't eat the mushroom?" Squee's question seemed more like an accusation to me.

"I'm not on drugs! I only tried 'shrooms once, and I will never take them again!"

"You tried 'shrooms?" Asked Abbs. Great I decide I really like this girl, and now she thinks I'm some stoner psycho. Awesome.

"Lets just get out of this place. We need to get food." I changed the subject not really feeling like exploring my drug history. It wasn't very bad at all, just pot mostly and I've quit.

So we left the rest stop. We got kind of bored on the way to the next town, so we started waving at the cars that went by. About three fourths waved back. Each time they did was cause for a minor celebration. At first it was just me and Abbs playing, but we soon convinced Squee that we will never see any of these people again.

When we arrived at the town we discovered that people in town suck. Very few people will wave at you in town. Your equally as likely to get flipped off. We went shopping in an actual store. Not a 24/7 a store. We got basic things like a five gallon thing of water, some bread, other sandwich stuff, chips, just basic food stuffs. Oh and a cooler with ice.

We ate a breakfast that consisted of crap out of a deli while sitting on a curb out side of the store.

"Hey Squee, what was the deal with Abbs parents? I never got to hear that story."

"Uhh... well... Abbs how much do you know?" His question was full of concern.

"I know pretty much the whole story. I don't mind if you tell him." She answered his next question convenient.

"Well, I met Nny eighteen years ago. I moved next door to him. I was nine and some crazy guy broke into my house looking for disinfectants, because some of the blood was his. Then he stabbed my teddy bear and left. You see Nny was completely ape-shit crazy. He never slept or ate and he killed a lot of people. One time I got separated from my mom at the mall. Some pedophile took me behind the mall, I didn't know he was a pedophile then, and Nny comes out of nowhere with a pipe and just beats the crap out of this guy. The whole time he was lecturing me about how the guy was barely human, he even went so far as to rip out his brain to show me how the wiring was all fucked up. One day he left to go on 'vacation' in order to rid himself of emotion. Apparently, he realized how much he loved Devi while he was out there. Oh, yeah, he went out on a date with Devi and he really liked her, but the dough boys – and I'm not sure who they are – convinced him that things could only get worse from there. you'll never love her as much as you do right now kind of thing. so he tries to kill her to 'immortalize the moment' and she beat the crap out of him. Anyway he's out on the road, realizes how much he loves her, she convinces him to get therapy, lots, and shortly there after she was conceived." He finished this little speech pointing at Abbs.

"So her dad is a homicidal maniac."

"_Was _a homicidal maniac_."_

"Okay... Anything you want add?" I asked Abbs. As I turned to look at her I saw how wide her eyes were. She was freaking out.

"My dad is a killer?!"

"You said you knew!"

"Because no one would ever tell me. I just never thought... wow." She looked like she was on the verge of tears. I put my arm around her. She collapsed into me crying into my chest. I held her close. It felt like the right thing to do.

A/N: I wrote this chapter like five times. It was really hard getting this to work right. First it didn't make enough sense, then it was too OC, then I wrote myself into a corner, so on and so forth. I feel like I just beat a boss battle on a video game. It was a fun fight, but I don't want to do something that hard again for a while. Other stuff: I really like the mushroom. If anyone makes me some fan art for it I would really appreciate it. I might bring the mushroom back somehow. He's awesome. He barks. second If any didn't notice that was filler bunny riding the mushroom in the dream sequence. Third I haven't been putting up a disclaimer so "Squee Nny Devi Pepito Filler bunny belong to JV Brian Abbs Mushroom ME". and lastly The bear that the metaphoric girl was screaming about is based on a "Character" -for lack of a better word – on /B/ if you want to know (you don't) just ask I'll give you a link. Please review, please I beg you.


	6. I'd ROFL her waffle

Abbs was still crying on me when we all loaded into the car. Squee tried to say he was sorry, but Abbs would just respond with more crying. Can you really blame her though? Her entire life she had been lied to about her father. I wanted to make her feel better, but what could I say? She was acting the same way any normal person would act in her situation. It still hurt to watch her cry. I she always seemed like she was on top of everything, like nothing could stop her. I couldn't relate to what she was feeling. I couldn't make her feel better. I was useless. I felt horrible for not being able to help her.

This is all that happened that day. Squee drove while feeling horrible for telling Abbs about her father. I hugged Abbs feeling horrible for not being able to help. Abbs cried feeling horrible for learning the truth. Eventually she fell asleep in my arms, I fell asleep in hers.

The next day Abbs was the first to wake up. When I did the same I found her writing in a spiral notebook that she had found on the floor. Her eyes were unfocused. Her body was completely still, all except her hand. She looked possessed. Suddenly she stopped writing. She closed the book and a visible calm washed over her. She seemed happy, a far cry from the night before. She looked at me. Her eyes were so expressive. Right then she was expressing joy. I couldn't explain it. She cried herself to sleep and woke up fine.

"I thought about it," She said. " and I've decided that it doesn't matter what my dad was like before I was born. It doesn't change the way I look at him now."

"Thats very open minded of you. Do you want to talk about anything?"

"No I think I got everything figured out."

"I love you." I said it. I still don't know what made me say it at that time but, I did. She looked confused. I could see almost every emotion run through her eyes in a half second.

"I-I-I don't know what to say..."

"The truth."

"I-I..." Something clicked in her brain. The confusion washed from her face. "Why do you love me?" She sounded military. Completely emotionless. It seemed she was going to let logic rule instead of her feelings. I can't blame her after what she had been through.

"Why do I love you? Your... well... I don't know. I've been trying to figure that out myself. I think... it's your eyes. There is something about your eyes. They mesmerize me. They draw me in with there beauty wen your happy, then make me sad when your sad. Something about them makes me trust you. I can't explain it any better than that."

"I love you too."

"Lets go get breakfast." We exited the car and went around to the back, got some pop tarts, and ate them on the roof. Nothing noticeable changed between us on the outside. Her eyes changed a little. She could make me blush just by looking at me, make me laugh, make me smile. She had more power over me than ever, and I loved it.

About half way through our breakfast, we heard Squee get out of the front of the car. He drug his feet to where we were sitting. When he noticed Abbs mood he asked "What did I miss?" Me and Abbs just looked at each other and laughed.

"Don't worry about it." I said.

"Okay well, yyyaaawwwwnnn, could you move so I can get some food?"

"Yeah no problem." Me and Abbs me moved. Squee got his food. Within five minutes we were on the road again. I was driving, Abbs was riding shot gun, and Squee was completely hidden under a pile of blankets in the seat behind me, well not really a pile of blankets, you see he fell back asleep, so we started stacking stuff on him. First the guitars then the blanket, my backpack, the notebook, pop tart wrappers, shoes, everything we had really. By the end you couldn't even tell there was a person in there.

We had been driving for about a half hour when we saw a hitch hiker on the side of the road.

"Should we stop?" I asked.

"Yeah. I want to mess with him." She looked like she finally had the chance to do something she has always wanted to try.

"What are you going to do?"

"I won't do anything. You can trust me." She made it very obvious that trusting her was a bad idea. So naturally I trusted her.

"Okay well pick him up. Please don't make the poor guy regret this."

"Yeee!" She made an excited noise and dove into the far back seat. She took cover so as not to be seen.

'What the hell is she doing?'

I pulled up next to the hitch hiker. He opened the passenger side door and got in.

"Thank you sooo much. My 'friends' thought it would be funny to abduct me and drop me off in a field."

"Thats rough. Sounds like you need better friends."

"Yeah well, you know, I started the prank war. I had water balloons, and just couldn't help my self."

"So I guess this has been going on for a while then if it's escalated from water balloons to ditching you in a field."

"No. This is his retaliation to the water ballo- DA FUCK!" At that moment Abbs came up behind him and licked his ear lobe. Our passenger's scream made the pile in the back seat come to life scaring him more. Squee was having a hard time fighting his way out of his prison.

Me and Abbs thought the whole thing was hilarious, the other two didn't. The yet to be named person soon caught on to the fact that it was a joke and he wasn't about to be molested. After he realized this he wasn't so angry. What a good sport. Squee on the other hand was tired and cranky.

"That wasn't cool guys."

"I don't care what blanket man says. That was funny."

"You look really familiar." Yeah Squee managed to run into someone else he knows. "Dib?"

"Do I know you?"

"I'm Squee."

"I haven't seen you in years! Wow, not since the defective head meat institute. How's it going?" I gave Abbs a questioning look.

"Yeah. How's it going. Still chasing Zim?"

"No actually we're friends now, but that's a story for another time. What have you been up to."

"Well, uh I fell asleep in Brian's car, and ended up on a road trip. That girl over there is Nny's daughter. We met up with her in Arizona."

"Still in contact with the Anti-Christ?" Anti-Christ?

"Yeah, me and Pepito are roommates now, well we were until I fell asleep in this guys car."

"Wait a second! Pepito is the Anti-Christ?!" My turn to ask a question.

"Yeah." He said it like I was the crazy one.

"How could you not tell me?"

"It never came up."

"It never- i-it never came... whatever."

I pulled onto the highway and ignored the rest of the conversation. We got to a rest stop, and Squee started driving again. Me Abbs sat in the back trying to make sense of the last few days. I ended up falling asleep.

When I awoke the sky was dark. I had slept through most of the day. The stars were out, and I just stared at them for the longest time, wondering 'are we alone'. Then I looked around the car and noticed an alien and a robot were in the car. I tapped the alien on the shoulder.

"Hello my name is Brian." I said extending a hand.

"I am ZIM! and thats Gir." He shook my hand, and Gir yelled "Waffles!"

* * *

"Pleased to meet you Zim. And waffles to you Gir. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going back to sleep."

The next day Abbs woke me up.

"Hey Brian want some waffles?"

"Where did we get waffles?"

"Gir 'made'm hiz self'."

"Out of what?"

"They're delicious. Don't ask questions."

"Okay. would you mind filling me in on what happened?"

"Dib, Zim, and Gir are going to be staying with us. Squee met Dib in an insane asylum. Zim is Irken. He used to be bent on global domination, but he's over that now. And Squee and Dib's theme song is 'Institutionalized' by suicidal tenancies."

"I like that song. I'm not crazy! I'm being institutionalized!... It fits too."

"Are you okay? You seem way to relaxed about this."

* * *

"Ever realize that you have no control over anything? It's very calming. Oh, and I haven't heard from the voice in my head for a while. I guess he found someone more interesting than me."

A/N I think this story is going to end soon. I know I just brought in a bunch of people, but yeah. If you like this story, or don't, please review. The mushroom is watching you.


	7. This is the end my friends

**'Brian... Briiiaannn... BRIAN!! **Whadafuckmyah' I was barely awake. **'Glad to see your awake.** You c'n wake muh up? **Yes I can.** Buh if I'm not conscious th'n how do I think uv you. **How many times do I have to tell you. you and I are completely different beings. **I call bullshit.' The floor dropped below my mind and I fell quickly to sleep. **'WAKE UP! **Fine I'm up, I'm up.' I got up and walked around our little bohemian village. 'What do you want? **Well... I wanted to let you know that I was back.** Yeah, where were you?** I was in someone else's mind.** Your seriously not a part of me are you? **No I'm not.** Then what are you? **I really have no idea, lets call me a spirit for lack of a better word. **Alright, but I still don't trust this.'

It was a beautiful morning. The air was cold and crisp. The wind was blowing waves across the field we were camping in. The golden grain shone brilliantly in the morning sun. It was so beautiful that I decided to go for a walk. It felt great to have my lungs full of fresh air, to have my legs stretched out, to be out of the car. It was a relaxing little stroll, and when I returned every one had woken up. Squee, Dib, Abbs, and Zim were all standing in a circle talking about something. I couldn't tell what it was from my distance, but it seemed to be light hearted conversation.

I walked up to the group making it a circle of five. All I could say was 'what's u-' before I became frozen to the spot. I didn't know what was happening to me. It felt like hand had wrapped around my spine. I think that everyone else felt about the same. A purple ring started forming under our feet, the circles stretched out and connected to each other until they formed a pentagram. A bright blast of the same purple light shot from the center, it was blinding. When I regained my senses there was Pepito standing in front of everyone.

With a wide grin on his face he said "Hola amigos."

"Pepito!" Squee yelled now able to move he ran forward to give his best friend a hug. "It's been so long since I've seen you." It was such a touching moment that Zim, Dib, and Abbs all felt the need to lean close to me and inquire about their sexuality.

Suddenly Pepito broke free of the hug and looked at me. "Um... Brian? You have to call your mom."

"Do you have a cell phone?"

Another grin crossed his face. "Yes." He pulled a phone out of nowhere that was attached to a P.A. system. The whole setup was bigger than him. Before this trip I probably would have shit my pants, but you know how people change. "One problem, it's broken so you have to use the speaker phone function."

"That's not cool dude." I grabbed the cell from Pepito and prepared for the biggest ass chewing of my life in front of every body. This involved rubbing my hands together and some deep breathing exercises.

Beep-beep-boop-bop-bop-bip-boop-bep-beep-bop I punched in my home pone number. Ringing, ringing, ringing, it rang for ever and ever and ever. Then after the three second eternity she picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hi mom."

"Brian? Where the hell have you been!? I've been worried sick!! You left with nothing but a poorly written note as a goodbye and I don't hear from you for weeks!! WEEKS BRIAN!!" At this point everyone was laughing but me. I suppose that makes it funny.

"I'm sorry?"

"YOUR SORRY?! SORRY!? You'll be sorry next time I see you!!"

"You know that doesn't make me want to come home very much."

"What did you say?!"

"Well if I told you that you'd die if you went to the kitchen, would you?"

"You ungrateful little bastard!!"

"Glad we could have this talk mom. Talk to ya later." Beep. "Well that went pretty well."

Everyone was staring at me. I had pretty much just been kicked out of my house. It was never said, but it seemed pretty obvious to me. Abbs walked up to me and grabbed my hand. She led led me away from the group. We had walked about a hundred yards before she said anything.

"So what now?" Her voice was sad. She sounded like someone had just died.

"What do you mean?" I felt great, I don't know why everyone is so worked up. She stopped and turned me around.

"Aren't you going home?" she looked deep into my eyes. I saw fear, was she afraid of losing me?

"Pfft, no."

"Why not?"

"Weellll... My life is interesting now, my mom is pissed if you hadn't noticed, and – most importantly - I wanna stay with you." Tears were welling up in her eyes. "You don't have to worry about me leaving you." Smiled. Such a beautiful smile. Then she wrapped her arms around my neck and leaned in for a kiss.

It was magic. It made me feel... There is no word to explain it. It was just magic.

When we broke apart I just looked at her smiling and said, "You know, you ran away too, wanna call your parents? It's only fair."

"Sure."

"Really!?"

"Fuck it, why not?" Maybe I'm a bad influence on her.

We arrived back at the group to the sound of cheering. Apparently our kiss was 'soo cute' and 'adorable' and a 'disgusting display of hyuman affection'. They were all assholes.

We fired up the cell phone and Abbs made her call. Which went about a bajillion times better than mine.

"Hello?" It was Johnny.

"Hi dad."

"Hey Abbs, long time no see, how ya' been?"

"Good. Just calling in to say hi, I love you, I'm not dead, all that happy crap."

"So your with Squee and Brandon then right?"

"Brian, and yes. They're cool people. We've also met up with a couple other people, one of them is an alien."

"So where are you all?"

"Northern California last time I checked. Why?"

"Ask Squee to show you my old house. It's all cleaned out and I still own it. You should stop by and check it out."

"Kay I'll do that, but I gotta go now. Tell mom I love her."

"Okay bye." Beep.

* * *

"God," said Squee. "he's come a long way over the years."

A good fourteen hours later and it was official, we weren't going to leave today. It was ten at night, we were all sitting around a camp fire swapping stories. I heard about the time Dib and Zim got turned into bolognas, the time Pepito saved Squee from a horde of zombies, the time Gir took the house out to crazy taco. It was amazing all the stuff these people had been through. Abbs told us about the time she got a guy to piss himself from fear after he grabbed her ass. She waited until after school and knocked him out. When he woke up he was in the bottom of an empty pool tied to the ladder. She threatened him with a smiley face knife that her dad had given to her, all the while lecturing him on how justified genital mutilation would be. I hate to admit it, but that really turned me on. Not the mutilation thing, just her dominance. I secretly wanted her to tie me up. Is that creepy?

Anyway, back to the point, I had more fun that night than I ever had before. We talked and laughed and told stories. Then we whispered and giggled and told scary stories after Dib, Zim, and Gir went to bed.

* * *

Then we wrote on Zim and Dib's faces. At around ten the rest of us headed for bed. Me and Abbs slept together in the car. Nothing happened, I was fine just being so close to her. She was laying on me, using my shoulder as a pillow. A perfect ending for a perfect night.

* * *

Then next day we drove to Johnny's old house. Abbs said that she was going to stay there. I stayed with her. I got a job at a 24/7 to pay for food and things. Abbs followed in the footsteps of her parents, becoming a fairly well known artist in the area. Squee, Pepito, Dib, Zim, and Gir all left via a car summoned by Pepito. I have never seen any of them since. I still live in that old shack of a house. I'm twenty-nine now. I'm married to Abbs. I wrote my adventures in hopes of getting it published. I will submit it as a fiction, who would believe otherwise? Funny though how this story ends when the real story starts.

A/N That's it I'm done, that was the last chapter. I had a lot of fun writing this story, but I'm glad that it's over. My next project is a story that I'm co-writing with Raxzo. It will be posted under his name, so look for that. To any one who is reading this: Thank you for sticking with it to the end. It really means a lot to me that people are actually willing to read my stuff.


End file.
